WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
