Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just had sex on a roof
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize