I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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