I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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