I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
