rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
