i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
