The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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