Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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