I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm at about main and main street
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
