Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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