one two three fourrrrnication!
Please, let me fuck your mom
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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