Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you will always have a special place in my vag
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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