This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
