I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I need to calm my uterus...
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