Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
