So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Are we still banned from the library?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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