Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize