Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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