maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
