There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
