seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
