I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
