just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
it glows. i had to have it.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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