Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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