Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So much rum. So many feels.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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