It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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