I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
