Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
