i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i dont even know how to be here
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
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