I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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