So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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