People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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