that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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