I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
