her vagine was all disorganized.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize