What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
