i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
