Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
