ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
we're making bets on your personal life
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Randomize
