Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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