is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
