i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
