Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
