Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize