God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
