i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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