just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
