I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
