Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
