I can tuck mytits in my pants
I think I am morally bankrupt
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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