# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
