I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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