last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
