Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
