lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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