if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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