If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
