What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
