In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
