Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize