I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
