I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize