Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
