Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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