Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
