Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
