Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
