How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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