oh god the rape fog is back!
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
