Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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