She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
After tacos, we're chasing women.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize