Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
