Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
