she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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