you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
