worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
